US Marine Corps
One of the benefits of serving in the military is having the chance to use all kinds of cool equipment like in Hollywood action movies and repetitive Call of Duty games. The Army has its hi-tech Strykers; the Navy has its powerful nuclear engines; the Air Force, its exquisite nine-hole golf courses; and the Coast Guard has, actually I don’t know, orange helicopters?
As for the Marines, well, we have our own things.
Like 30-pound radios with shrapnel from Vietnam still embedded in them and fleece beanies we’re not allowed to wear when it’s cold for some reason. The Corps doesn’t really get the gear on the higher end of the coolness spectrum. I know my people tend to brag that our branch is the tip of the spear, but the truth is we get the shaft.
Yes, it’s been a few years since I left active duty so the stuff being issued to Marines these days may have changed. Pfft, who am I kidding? We’ll keep getting the same crappy gear and Army leftovers for years to come. In a thousand years our descendants will be fighting giant squid people on Neptune and celebrating the F-35 finally being completed as they pick silk wedgies out of their asscracks during morning physical training.
Anyway, here are nine issued Marine Corps items that aren’t going away, even though they should.
1. Canteens
US Marine Corps
Outside of training, I don’t think I saw anyone actually use a canteen. Between CamelBaks, Nalgenes, and the various other brands of water sacks and reusable bottles, there are a whole lot of ways to carry more water with greater ease than a pair of plastic flasks. And no matter what you do to clean them, the inside always smells like plastic and old swamp water.
2. Sword belt
US Marine Corps
Any time there’s an event — wedding, funeral, birthday ball, horse cavalry charge, etc. — where corporals and above might need to wear a sword, you just end up wearing the cooler looking Sam Brown belt.
So really, what’s the point?
3. Night vision goggles
US Marine Corps
For those who haven’t used night vision goggles, they don’t work like in the movies. In Hollywood, night vision paints the world in perfect detail with a green tint, but in reality, everything looks like an old Game Boy game: two-dimensional, two-toned, and full of deadly turtles.
Before my first night patrol, I joked that our night vision goggles were only good for seeing what you’ve just tripped over. Everybody had a good chuckle. Then I tripped several times that night. Everybody had more good chuckles. Then we almost lost a Marine who fell down a huge hole that none of us could see and it took us a few minutes to figure out what happened. Nobody chuckled.
Our night vision sucks.
See the rest of the story at Business Insider
See Also:
- The Marines want to give infantrymen a newer, more deadly rifle, but Congress is withholding money for them until it gets more details
- The Green Beret unit involved in an Afghanistan truck shooting had reputation for ‘horribly poor judgment’
- Watch Afghan special forces’ all-female platoon train to kick ass and take names
