April 1 is a day when you shouldn’t believe any product announcement being made, as there’s an excellent chance it’ll be utter nonsense. And if it turns out to be real, then either the marketing folk need to be fired for launching on on that day, or your product needs a rethink, as the world clearly thought it was a joke.
We’re here to guide you through the nightmare of what’s real and isn’t with our favorite April Fools’ Day gags for 2017. Keep checking back, as we’ll update with new ones that tickle our funny bone.
Amazon Petlexa
Now your furbabies can take advantage of their humans’ smart home tech and toys. Petlexa gives your furry family members the ability communicate with Alexa through Amazon Echo. This new pet-friendly feature can track the steps your hamster runs in his wheel, order some sushi (through Amazon, of course) for the cat, or help the dog play fetch.
Swim Desk
It wasn’t too long ago that standing desks became the must-have alternative to traditional sit-down workspaces. They purported to improve efficiency while reducing strain on your body from sitting down all day. Then standing up alone wasn’t enough — we should exercise while we work, via contraptions down at our feet. You can walk, stretch, and pedal your way to health, all while making a living.
You could take things a step further and get a treadmill desk. But what if you have bad joints or are unable to use one for other health reasons? Because of this, people swear by swimming. It should come as no surprise that the folks at ThinkGeek put their top minds to work to bring you the Swim Desk.
At $ 1,999, the heated Swim Desk weighs over eight tons when full, so check your building codes before purchase. You can adjust the current put out by the 5-horsepower motor, and integrated LED lights are helpful for those late nights at the office.
Netflix Live
On March 31, Netflix previewed a new show called Netflix Live, in which Will Arnett offers narrations of objects he’s viewing, mostly related to what you’d find in an office. His seemingly off-the-cuff remarks include descriptions, anecdotes, and numerous tangents.
Joke or not, the show was supposed to premiere on April 1, but it has since been canceled. Netflix had this to say on its website:
“Netflix Live has been canceled. We miscalculated the number of people who like to binge-watch microwaves. Dave from analytics is in trouble.”
Google Maps and Ms. Pac-Man
Last April Fools’, Google Maps let users play Pac-Man using its software, and this year you can wander around your favorite neighborhood in the guise of his wife. That’s right — you can now play Ms. Pac-Man on your computer or mobile device using Google Maps.
We tried it out in New York City; an ideal stage due to its grid layout. The game will not work if you try it in an area with few roads (Central Park wasn’t suitable), but you can click that you’re feeling lucky and go somewhere else.
Just like in the classic game, there are ghosts, dots, and Power Pellets. When you run off one side of the screen, you will appear on the other. Best of all, the original intro jingle and sound effects are all intact. To play, simply open Google Maps and click on the Ms. Pac-Man icon.
We cleared an entire stage, including all the dots and cherries, and the game didn’t end. Perhaps we expected a level 2 with faster ghosts?
Lyft Mono
Ride-hailing app Lyft has gone all out with this one. The Mono is a piece of wearable tech for grabbing a Lyft ride with just a flick of the thumb. The LED lighting array — in magenta, naturally — pulsates at different speeds, depending on how close your Lyft car is. There’s a glitzy website devoted to the Mono, and even a pop-up shop in San Francisco where you can try it out, according to The Verge. But don’t fall for it — the Mono is very much an April Fools’ Day joke.
However, that’s not going to stop Lyft giving a few of the versions it built for the promotion away, and you can enter here.
Man Crates Man Freights
Gift service Man Crates now lets you do more than send a crate as a gift. The Man Freights service enables you to deliver it yourself, inside a crate of your own. Provided you’re a “medium-sized person” and can get to a delivery center, you’ll get nailed inside the crate, ready to be handed over to the recipient after only two or three business days.
OnePlus Dash Energy
Dash Charge is OnePlus’s own fast charging system for its smartphones, and now it’s introducing Dash Energy, which brings power-boosting goodness to you personally. Apparently, it’s a “Neural performance enhancer instilled into a caffeinated beverage suitable for human consumption,” which sounds an awful lot like an energy drink to us. Check out the video above to see the effects, which include instant alertness, energy, and concentration.
The great thing is you can actually try it out, because OnePlus will be distributing Dash Energy at a few special locations in London, plus through online through promotions in Europe, Finland, and India on April 1. You can find a list of them here.
Lexus Lane Valet
Lexus feels our pain. There’s nothing worse than getting stuck behind a slow lane hog, but with its new Lane Valet feature, we can shift them out of the way safely and easily. It’s autonomous driving technology, but for the car in front of you.
Kik Storyz
We love subtle April Fools’ Day gags, and this is definitely one of them. Kik Messenger has introduced Storyz, a way to share tiny video clips through the platform that friends can subscribe to and watch. The videos then expire after 23 hours and 57 minutes. Wait. That’s almost exactly what Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp copied from Snapchat, right? Kik’s not falling for it, and neither should you. The only thing is if Kik does add a Story-style feature in the future, this may come back to haunt it.
World of Tanks — Next Stop: Mars
Another April Fools’ gag you can actually try out for yourself. World of Tanks heads to Mars for a limited time, where you battle against each other and the alien hordes in a spectacular low-gravity environment, complete with teleportation units for the ultimate in surprise attacks. The game mode, called Next Stop: Mars, is only available between March 31 and April 2.
SkunkLock Organic
Want an environmentally friendly way of protecting your bike, that also looks a tiny bit cute? Then you want the SkunkLock Organic, a follow-up to the company’s unusual bike lock that’s filled with a vomit-inducing gas. That’s right, the SkunkLock isn’t the April Fools’ gag. The SkunkLock Organic attaches a real skunk to your bike.
Roku SnackSuggest
It’s sometimes difficult to satisfy food cravings when you’re watching Game of Thrones. Roku’s new SnackSuggest feature says you need chicken wings, mutton, and ale to complete the experience. For Vampire Diaries, how about some garlic fries and red velvet cupcakes? It’s scientific too, basing snack recommendations on your BMI, dietary requirements, and taste preferences. Watching The Walking Dead may never be the same again …
Honda H-Swipe
Why restrict Tinder’s popular swipe-based method of finding a date to an app? Honda realized the windscreen wipers on its cars could perform a similar function, and so the automaker is introducing s-wipers, the H-Swipe app, and geo-location tech on future vehicles. Location data finds a potential date, and the wipers are used to signal your interest — left for “phwoor!” and right for “nahhh” presumably.
Updated on 04-01-2017 by Albert Khoury: Added more April Fools’ Day jokes and gags.
Article originally published on 03-31-2017.
