The trick is to make sure you end up with someone who is similar to you.
The saying goes that opposites attract, but when it comes down to it opposites are far less compatible in the long term due to clashing conflict styles.
How you argue, not what you argue about, is the reason most couples don’t make it – so make sure your partner is someone who argues the way you do.
This is because arguments are more productive between couples who mirror each other’s personalities – rather than opposites.
Data over the last two decades shows it’s not so much the frequency of arguments, but how we tackle conflict resolution that determines long-term relationship success.
The majority of people currently in relationships view themselves as argumentative (59 per cent), according to eHarmony, with women more likely than men to self-identify as confrontational.
“For more dominant couples, conflict is often an immediate release of tension, which enables both parties to get their feelings off their chests and feel like they are being heard,” said psychologist Dr. Linda Papadopoulos.
“Often once the heat of the moment has passed, they feel closer to one another as a result.
“The opposite is true for those with opposite or contrasting temperaments. In these cases, arguments between confrontational and passive people will tend to make the aggressor angrier and the more passive person anxious and upset.
“To combat this, both need to remain aware of how their actions appear to their other half and watch their body language and tone.”
The most common triggers for disagreements are: not listening, 47 per cent, saying the wrong thing, 34 per cent, and thoughtlessness 29 per cent. Snoring, 13 per cent, and a lack of sex, 10 per cent, both also feature in the top ten reasons couples fight
It was recently revealed that more than half of British workers “have had an office fling”.
Six in ten Britons admitted to having a relationship with a colleague, of which over a third (35 per cent) were reported to have ended badly.
A man whose snoring was so loud it began destroying the intimacy in his relationship has revealed his cure.
His snoring is so loud, the couple sleep in separate beds, and he was even forced to sleep in a hotel bathtub onetime when they were holidaying together.
“Jenny and I met through work four years ago,” he explained. “She was my best friend first and foremost and our relationship really developed out of that, but it wasn’t until we started going out that she became aware that I was a loud snorer. “
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