Far from offering “all the trimmings”, the dish features no roast potatoes, just a sprout or two, a few pieces of broccoli and a baby carrot – it’s a state-approved version of our traditional yuletide meal.
This year PHE spent £40million of taxpayers’ money telling Britons what they can and cannot eat, drink and do in their leisure time.
So using those guidelines and warnings, the TaxPayers’ Alliance has calculated just what it would mean for our Christmas feast.
Following nutritional guidelines set by the NHS, an adult male could enjoy just 125g of turkey tomorrow, a hint of gravy, a half-serving of boiled potatoes and a quarter of a bacon-wrapped sausage.
With sugar now considered the enemy, revellers could only tuck into a tenth of a serving of pudding and a few crumbs of mince pie.
Chocolate lovers can only nibble on a quarter of a fun-size Mars Bar.
Bubbly and wine are also strictly limited.
John O’Connell, chief executive of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: “If the health tsars really had their way, we’d be eating nothing but salad and sprouts tomorrow.”