Kind Hearts: How kindness can work wonders

“Urgently needed – rugs.” Three simple words that inspired a global movement, changed more than 700 lives and harnessed the kindness of 100,000 strangers.

Jaime Thurston was searching for second-hand furniture online in 2013 when she came across the message from a woman who had fled a horrible domestic situation and was desperate for rugs to stop her children cutting their feet on the broken floorboards of their new flat. 

Hoping to help, Jaime emailed friends and family and before long had a car filled with household essentials for the woman. 

“I loved doing it and thought we could do something each week to help someone new,” she explains. “I set up a Facebook page, called it 52 Lives and invited everyone I knew to join.”

Every Monday Jaime, 38, would tell the story of someone who needed help and people would respond with assistance. 

“I thought it would be a year-long project, but it kept growing,” she says. 

Three months in, while looking for a mechanic to help a woman and her son who both had cancer, a woman from Scotland offered to buy them a car. The story went viral on social media.

“Then in July 2015 I was featured on Surprise Surprise. We went from 4,000 to 70,000 followers overnight.”

So why does Jaime think the project caught people’s imagination?

“One of the things that makes 52 Lives unique – and why a lot of our supporters say they like donating to it – is that 100 per cent of what they give goes directly to the person we’re helping. We don’t take a penny. Our running costs are covered by a corporate sponsor, Gala Bingo.”

Now she is hoping to spread her message further with a new book, Kindness: The Little Thing That Matters Most. “My inbox began to fill with emails asking how to help others and I wanted to suggest small things they could do and show that it doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be something simple,” she adds.

The book contains 52 ideas on how to spread kindness, from giving up a seat to doing something for nothing, interspersed with fascinating nuggets of science explaining the positive effects kindness has on the brain, heart and others. 

“I’m given a lot of gift books and I often flick through them, but don’t really read them. I wanted this to have a bit more substance to it, be something people actually read rather than sat on a coffee table looking pretty,” Jaime says. 

Jaime’s favourite element of 52 Lives is a Schools Kindness Project. “When I won the Clarins Woman of the Year Award in 2016 I was given a grant of £30,000. I used that to launch a programme where we visit primary schools and run kindness workshops,” she explains.

“We talk about the science and benefits of kindness and share a story of a child who is ill or going through a hard time, then do something practical, such as a fundraising activity or writing letters and cards, to really ram it home that it is possible to make a difference.

I wanted it not to simply be a lecture on being kind because it’s a nice thing to do, but to show there is substance to it, and that kindness has huge potential to create change. It helps them understand at a young age that the little things they do and the way they treat people can make a difference.

“We have quite a waiting list and only a year of funding left but I want to keep going because it’s so powerful and makes kindness something that children aspire to, rather than being pretty or famous or whatever. I think kindness is the most important character trait. I’d much rather my kids be kind than rich, clever, cute or anything else.”

Jaime, who moved to the UK from Australia 15 years ago and lives in Finchampstead, Berkshire, with her fiancé Greig, has three children – Abbey, nine, Max, six, and six-week-old Joseph.

So how do the oldest two feel about their mother’s kindness mission? “They probably get quite bored of me banging on about it to be honest,” she laughs. “I felt like they were being a bit mean to each other recently, so I put up a star chart for kindness. I’ve been hoping that they might donate some of their pocket money, too, but we haven’t managed that yet.”

Jaime has had to tread carefully with some of the more harrowing stories. “Abbey usually wants to know who we are helping and often makes cards for them.

I don’t want to fill their heads with sad stories so I try and keep it positive by telling them about it at the end of the week and say, ‘Look what we did.’ We often help children who are ill, so I have to reassure Abbey it is rare and probably not going to happen to her.”

Jaime’s own parents always led by example. “Mum just drops everything if anyone needs her help,” she says. 

“When I broke my shoulder a few years ago she flew over from Australia without even thinking about it. It’s the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me and it’s pretty incredible to have someone like that in your life.” 

Timing was a big factor when it came to the success of 52 Lives, believes Jaime. People were ready to embrace something positive. “The last couple of years have been awful in many ways and it’s easy to look at horrible things that have been happening and think, ‘Everything is messed up, what hope do we all have?’

Good news stories don’t grab as many headlines, but it’s something that people seem to need and want now. 

“I want to help empower people to realise the little choices they make each day are what create our communities and change the world that we live in.”

Find out more at 52-lives.org.Kindness: The Little Thing That Matters Most by Jaime Thurston (Harper Collins, £9.99) is out now. See Express Bookshop at expressbookshop.co.uk.

The science of kindness

l Kindness changes our brain chemistry. It boosts levels of dopamine and serotonin, which are chemical messengers involved with positive emotions. It also produces oxytocin, the “bonding hormone”, and endorphins.

l You really can hug someone better. Hugging is a simple way to keep oxytocin flowing. Scientist and author Dr Paul Zak (otherwise known as Dr Love) says cuddles raise oxytocin, reduce cardiovascular stress and improve the immune system. 

l It has been found that one good deed can affect up to 16 people, known as the Three-Degree Ripple Rule. We help one person, they help others, who in turn help more. 

l A census in the 1960s showed that no one under 45 in Roseto, Pennsylvania, had died of heart disease. Scientists realised that close community bonds were releasing high levels of oxytocin, protecting the residents’ hearts. It is known as the Roseto effect. 

l In 2012, a Canadian coffee shop became famous for a chain of kindness at its drive-through window. A customer paid for her order and that of the stranger in the car behind. This continued for the next 226 customers, in a three-hour kindness spree.

l A study compared people keeping a list of their blessings with those listing their problems and found that the blessings group were 25 per cent happier than the hassles group, feeling more joyful, enthusiastic, strong and attentive.