Stabbed with pen nibs, victimised by classic tricks like “the vanishing chair” and the “loose pepper pot” he becomes, over a single day, a snarling savage.
Something similar happened to a Delhi Cops (C4) new recruit, officer Sonam, whose first shift at the city’s biggest police station, Mehrauli, began with smiles and promise.
One of the thousands of new female recruits, 27-year-old Sonam said she came from a small village where she was already a role model.
Her commanding officer Mukesh was probably not much older but one glance at his face suggested the way things were heading for Sonam.
Forever rubbing his eyes and clutching at his scalp, Mukesh dealt with a constantly ringing mobile phone as he tried to organise back-up for a demolition order.
Was there a vehicle to get his team to the site, the director asked? Mukesh pointed to it, bitterly, a tiny, heavily decorated goods van. If there was some comedy in the scene, things quickly became serious as mayhem broke out, around a building scheduled for immediate demolition.
Crowds of residents, not without justification, protested at being made homeless.
A scuffle broke out. Sonam waded in and was attacked. She fought back, only stopping when fellow officers restrained her.
Later, back at the station, the same anger was still in her eyes. Something already seemed to have shifted in her as she was asked if she had any sympathy for the protesting women. She could only see things in terms of herself. She thought the police were respected. Sad as the lesson was, you could see from the older cops how it was one that had to be learnt. Later on, Mukesh showed us around the evidence room, a year’s worth of stuff for cases slowly grinding their way through to trial.
A sack of opium. A savage knife. A foetus in a jar.
It was all here and also, all written on Mukesh’s face. Nothing shocked him any more. Investigating a later case, a tutor who had run away with his not-much-younger pupil sweetheart, Sonam said she did feel sorry for them, just kids who had fallen in love.
You wondered if she’d say the same in a year’s time.
The Big Family Cooking Showdown (BBC2) looks like an attempt to do Bake Off without the cakes.
Nadiya Hussain and Zoë Ball function as an unfunny version of Mel and Sue, while chef Giorgio Locatelli and cookery teacher Rosemary Shrager do the Silver Fox/Grand Dame double act as judges.
Instead of baked goods and individuals, meanwhile, groups of relations knock up full dinners, to their own, venerable family recipes.
There’s something addictive about enthusiasm, of course and it’s rather a treat to peek behind the walls of a nondescript Bridlington semi and find people working sheer kitchen magic at every mealtime.
No cooking show can cut the mustard though without one of two essential ingredients. It either has to show us the recipes or the money.
MasterChef and Bake Off winners get jobs, restaurants, book deals.
Win the Big Family Cooking Showdown and you get what exactly? To continue cooking?